Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Debate

Sometimes I feel like I have both sides of a debate team in my head.  Lest you think I am schizophrenic (which is a possibility says team B) I will explain what I mean.

Team A:  Life is so much tougher when you have autistic kids.  There are endless meetings with schools, teachers, doctors and therapists.
Team B: Have you talked to your friends with typical kids?  How many games, practices and club meetings do they have in average week?
Team A: 1   Team B: 1

Team A:  When I take my child to the pool, they never play with the other kids.
Team B:  Have you seen how annoying other kids can be?  Are you really sad that they aren't playing with those jerks?
Team A: 1   Team B: 2

Team A:  Every time I tell someone my child has autism, they look at me with pity.
Team B:  If it wasn't important why did you bring it up?
Team A: 2   Team B: 3

Team A:  What is my 18 year old going to do now that he has graduated?  He doesn't have a job and he isn't ready to go away to college.
Team B:  Look at all these parents whose 18 year old kids are going to college.  Do you think any of them are "ready"?  Do you remember how much trouble you got into at 18?  Maybe it isn't so bad having him still at home.
Team A: 2   Team B: 4

Team A:  We still have to get a babysitter respite provider every time we want to go out for a date and we have two teenagers.
Team B:  Would you want to leave two "typical" teenage boys alone in a house when you go out?  How many girls could they get pregnant and how much liquor could they consume?
Team A: 2   Team B: 5

Team A:  My kids are rarely invited to birthday parties and they've never been on a sleepover.
Team B:  Think of all the money you haven't had to spend on other kids' birthday gifts, all the time and money that you haven't had to spend planning parties and all the useless things you haven't been given at your own kids' parties.  You also haven't had to host any other kids.
Team A: 2   Team B: 6

Team A:  Everyone has a story about someone they know who was "cured" by doing something (usually bizarre).
Team B:  Yep, they do.
Team A: 3   Team B: 6

Team A:  My boys do not interact with each other very much.
Team B:  You've heard stories from the hubby about how teenage boys "interact" -- is it really so bad that older one isn't giving the neighbor hints on the best way to beat up his little brother?
Team A: 3   Team B: 7

Team A:  We aren't able to go to many family celebrations because of Alan climbing on things and getting into trouble.
Team B:  And haven't you also used that as an excuse to get out of things you didn't want to do?
Team A: 3   Team B: 8

Team A:  We haven't taken Alan to church since he was 3 and therefore have to go to two separate services every weekend.
Team B:  OK, that is a pain in the butt no two ways about it.
Team A: 4   Team B: 8

Team A:  There is so much conflict in the autism world.  The vaccination debate, the GF/CF folks, acceptance vs. awareness, is Autism Speaks the anti-Christ, should we call them people with autism or autistics ... I can go on and on.
Team B:  Parenting debates exist everywhere.  Do you have to defend whether or not you breastfed, let your child sleep in your bed or made him cry it out, did attachment parenting, or have ever spanked?
Team A:  Autism parents don't care about little things like that.
Team A: 4   Team B: 9

Hmm, maybe I'll keep my strange little family and our bizarre life.  After all, it could be worse.  I could have two typical kids.


  1. Yup, I totally get it and agree! I kinda like our version of normal and actually would not have it any other way. :) Good post.

  2. Great internal debate ;P

    It is ironic, I worry about my daughters speech catching up to "typical peers" sometimes.

    And then we see random nasty children saying things like I hate you, get away from me, your ugly...

    My daughter would never waste the words she does use on garbage like that.

    The little things ;)