Thursday, September 12, 2013

My place to vent

Parenting is hard.  Autism parenting is very hard.  Teenage parenting is very hard.  Autistic teenage parenting can be brutal.

This is why I started my blog.  Because sometimes we all need a little support.

Sometimes I vent to my "real" friends on Facebook but mostly I try to keep that light.  I try to only show the humor -- the bizarre pictures of Alan climbing, the funny Joe-isms, the rare cute times when the boys interact, etc.

Before I had my blog, I felt fairly isolated.  I only knew a handful of parents of autistic teenagers and only one other family that had two.  I can't say I've met a lot of parents of autistic teens from my blog, but there are a few.  More importantly many of the parents of the younger kiddos can look at my boyz and hopefully get a glimpse of where their children might be -- although with any luck, their children will far surpass mine!

I also hoped to talk and interact with adult autistics.  That has been the biggest disappointment as so many of them have such one track minds that all they can see is THEIR point of view.  

I am not writing from an adult autistic point of view.  I am writing from a "parent of autistic teenagers" point of view.

I understand that many of them think that hating autism is the same as hating your child.  I disagree with this.

I understand that many of them want to be accepted as they are and do not want a "cure".  I accept that, I just still want a cure for my boyz.

I understand that they are expressing what they felt growing up and what they feel now, but they do NOT have the right to say how my children are feeling.

Autism is a SPECTRUM.  That means what is true for one person is not necessarily true for another.  Just like all neuro-typical individuals are INDIVIDUALS, so all autistic individuals are INDIVIDUALS.

Just because your parents said or did things to you does NOT give you the right to tell me how I am parenting incorrectly.  Just because I say I hate autism does not give you the right to say this means I hate my children.  I NEVER say to them, "You know I really hate your autism."  I might mention when they are in the room ways in which (usually Alan's) autism inconveniences our family but it is always the behaviors that are emphasized and I always show my boys how much I love them.

But mostly this is MY blog.   Many times what I say on here, I say on here so that I do NOT say it in front of them.

This is MY place to vent.  If you want to disagree, feel free, but please be polite and respectful.


  1. Amen sister friend! Kudos to you for standing up for your self and your right to vent.

  2. Go for it. We all need to vent every now and again.

  3. appreciate you sharing! mom of triplets on the spectrum....we have along road ahead of us...5yolds.

  4. I really want to talk to autistic adults, too. I'm not sure where to find them. I do appreciate you and you sharing the stories of your boyz...
    Also? You are SO allowed to vent. We all are. <3