Tuesday, January 28, 2014

How a home improvement is like raising a child with autism ...

We are in the process of remodeling our kitchen.  By "in" the process, I mean the planning portion of the process.  My goal would be to have it done by the end of spring.  DH would like it done before fall.  Clearly we have different expectations!

However, the overall process of a major house remodeling project is so similar to raising special needs children that I thought it was funny. 

It all starts with someone noticing a deficit.  Like autism, one of us (in both cases, me) saw a problem a bit before the other.  I've been wanting to redo the kitchen for years but over the last few years, DH has (albeit reluctantly) come to the same conclusion.

So first you start looking for options.  You exhaust the internet for any and all sources of information.  What kind of cabinets do you want?  What kinds of therapies or treatments are out there?  Who do you want to do the installation?  What is the best school?

Then you start asking your friends about their experiences.  A neighbor who recently remodeled will warrant a visit.  A friend whose child was diagnosed a few years ago will get a phone call or an e-mail.

Then you wonder about trends.  Everyone else is getting stainless steel appliances.  Should you still get them because they look nice or should you go with your gut and get black because you know you won't clean them often enough and they will always look dirty to you?  Many people have had such great results with the GFCF diet but your child will make your life a living hell if you try to eliminate all sources of gluten and casein.

And there is the unwelcome advise.  We haven't gone to every kitchen store within a hundred miles and we haven't tried every treatment ever invented.  That isn't the way we operate.  We find what we like and will make the most of it.

Then there are the parts that haven't happened yet where I can see similarities.  I remember all too well the "revolving door" of home ABA.  It helped Joe so much but I hated the lack of privacy.  Yep, that would be the installation.

Then there is all the time that we will have to either eat out or get very creative with eating in.  That is a lot like the holidays with Alan.

I won't get into the economic similarities but it is safe to say that both will be pretty expensive.

But despite my opening paragraph, DH and I are in sync for this project like we are for raising the boyz.  We each compromise on a few things but overall find we like most of the same things.  And like autism there are pros and cons. 

And like autism it is sometimes very hard to imagine the end result in the early stages ...


  1. Yippee! A new kitchen! Ya'll are on a roll with all the changes. Interesting comparison. Never thought about it that way before. I recently, on a whim, decided to repaint all the kitchen cabinets! I am still in the middle of the mess of it all! Hard to function with out our kitchen all together. You will have to post pictures once finished! Blessings!

    1. We ARE on a roll with updates! I think we've gone about 5 years without doing anything to the house so some of these are long overdue! lol Still it is sort of fun and sort of stressful. There will definitely be before and after pictures! :-)

    gorgeous analogy and sends up the hard and the ridiculous and the wonderful in both processes!!!

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  4. You're right in asking friends who had their own home renovation for some tips! They usually know the costs and which suppliers are good. When heeding their tips, you can also take a look on the views of professionals to truly have an expansive view of your upcoming project. Happy renovating!
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