Today is my birthday (Happy Birthday, Me!) and as I read through all the birthday wishes on my Facebook timeline, I got to wondering if any of these people really understand me.
Several people made some reference to how I "inspire" them. Seriously? I feel like such a complete and utter failure as a parent. Some days (like today) I feel like the worst parent ever.
Today is yet another snow day for Alan. Other parents (although fewer with each subsequent snow fall) post about how they "get" a day off with their children but all I do is think about how having the boyz home will "ruin" my birthday.
DH texted me this morning about 10:30 and asked me if I was hiding from Alan. Yep, pretty much! Alan ALWAYS goes to lunch at 11 when he is home. Note: I said "goes" to lunch. We cannot stay home unless we want a meltdown. This kid has fast food at least two days a week (and usually more). I'm a failure as a nutritionist.
We make a stop on the way home to get a few things. Alan asks for a soda at Target and I ask Joe to go get it. He tells Alan to "Wait here" even though Alan likes to come with his big brother. Alan yells his battle cry and Joe gets frustrated. I'm a failure as a referee.
We get home and Alan wants to go play in the snow. I distract him with a video because I am sick to death of sitting outside while he sleds. I'm a failure as a companion.
Alan wants to snuggle with me in bed. I read and he watches his iPad. OK, maybe not the best mother/son bonding time, but we both like it. I guess I'm not the worst parent ever, but I still don't think I'm inspirational.
Then my sister sent me a birthday card that said "Birthdays are about celebrating life, love and longevity ... so the more you have, the happier you are!" I think that might be the point of today. Maybe I should just let my friends think I'm a better person/parent than I think I am. After all, only you know your worst flaws, right?